The Top 10 Hair Removal Horror Stories 2017!
October 25, 2017
Hey Bare Squad!
We’re feeling extra spooky this week and we’re sure you are too! Halloween is just around the corner, and for the third year in a row we’ve rounded up the top horror stories! These aren’t just any horror stories. Oh no, these are the best Hair Removal Horror Stories.
Now, in the past we’ve tried to round up stories from clients. But it turns out many of you aren’t so keen on sharing your more embarrassing moments with the world. We get it, we really do! So we scoured the internet for people who had a little less to hide. Here’s what we found!
- Maybe the bikini line isn’t the first place you should try you’re new at-home wax kit…
“The first time I tried waxing at home I went straight for the bikini line (I wasn’t the brightest spark). I warmed the wax, went to town, it all went pretty well. I had a bath to wash off the excess wax. Again, it all went pretty well…or so I thought. I put on some brand new underwear. My boyfriend came over, we headed to the bedroom. He went to take off my gorgeous new lace knickers, and they were stuck to me. No budging. Turns out there was some lingering wax residue on my crotch. I spent my Valentine’s evening having my (now ex-) boyfriend very carefully cut me out of my underwear with a pair of nail scissors. It was the least sexy night of my life.”
2. Pro tip: just don’t do it at home.
“I bought some of those wax strips that you warm up with your body heat. I decided the best place to start was my legs, to see if I could handle it. So I did one. And it hurt like a mother. So I decided, in order to get through it, I would stick them all on, all the way around my leg, and then pull them off one by one. That way I couldn’t chicken out. Well, by about the third strip, I was crying and my legs were swollen and bright pink. I kept trying to convince myself to finish it, but I couldn’t. I ended up rubbing the wax strips FOREVER and then slowly peeling them off the wrong way. Ended up with half a hairless leg for most of the summer.”
3. Always do a test patch…
“When I was 14, my best friend and I decided to try a bikini wax. It was summer, we were bored. We found a pot of wax and strips in her mother’s closet. We microwaved it way too long, and subsequently burned ourselves while applying it. While getting over the trauma of the wax burn, we let the strips adhere too long and ripped off the strips while the wax was hard, producing large and immediate purple bruises on the side of our vaginas.”
4. If you’re on any acne medication, let your esthetician know! Or better yet, ask your doctor before attempting ANY sort of waxing!
“I vaguely remembered people telling me I couldn’t wax on [Retin A], but my eyebrows were so messy-looking that I was desperate. I got them waxed and afterward felt a really hot, stinging sensation all around them. I thought this was normal until I looked in the mirror and noticed red, shiny ‘patches’ — where the skin was quite literally taken off.”
5. Rubbing Alcohol and electrc shavers don’t mix.
“In high school I cleverly decided that I would start shaving my legs and bikini line with an electric razor instead of ye olde in-shower safety razor. I also cleverly decided that I’d keep it really superhygienic by spritzing down the head of the electric razor with alcohol after each use. I did not cleverly research whether that would make the blades rust and what happens if you use a cheap electric razor with rusty blades. The answer is you get gross, swollen, infected hair follicles and you feel lucky, years later, that you didn’t die of tetanus. Oh, teenage me.”
6. Razor + brows = disaster.
“When I was in ninth grade, I suddenly became aware of eyebrow waxing and was immediately horrified by my unrefined, unwaxed brows. My family is not at all into beauty, and it would have been super awkward to ask my mom to take me to get my eyebrows waxed (especially since they’re pretty insubstantial anyway), so I had the brilliant idea of trying to shape them myself with a leg razor. Needless to say, it was a disaster! I accidentally shaved off the inner first quarter-inch of one eyebrow, so I had to do the other to match, leaving me with two scraggly little brows with a huge gap in between! It looked terrible, but the weird eyebrow stubble from growing it back in looked crazy, too. I just kept shaving it for almost three months since I didn’t know what else to do. Finally, after too many weird looks and comments, I just bit the bullet and let them awkwardly grow back in. I will NEVER use a razor anywhere near my eyebrows again!”
7. Just leave the bikini waxes to the professionals!
“I remember once, I was using those wax strips that you have to heat up with your hands, I thought it would be a fantastic idea to start with my bikini area… As I usually use those for my tummy (I’m a hairy European) I didn’t have any more of the little wipes that remove the excess wax from your body. So anyway, I followed all of the instructions, and smoothed the strip down onto the left side of my bikini line, I rubbed it down for a bit and PULLED. Except… I didn’t pull hard enough, it HURT so bad I thought it was over, but only 1cm even came off. I ended up having the strip stuck to my bikini line for about 40 minutes before I managed to pull it all off. The strip was gone, but the wax.. unfortunately stayed. I had no idea how to get the wax off – it’s the type that doesn’t come off with water… so after a few minutes googling what to do and calling my friends, I discovered that oil would take it off – the only oil I had was Argan Oil for my hair, so I lathered myself up in oil and eventually it stopped being sticky and came off. The worst part of all of this? None of the hair was removed at all.”
8. Razors are sharp, just remember that.
“I was 14 and doing my first musical (Les Mis, playing Little Cosette) and I was in a hurry to shave my legs before rehearsal: so much of a hurry in fact, that I managed to shave off an entire strip of skin on my shin, from ankle to knee. The strip remained intact – just over 1.5cm wide and about 25cm long. I remember screaming, my mum rushing into the bathroom and me holding the strip of skin up to show her while my leg bled profusely into the bath mat. It was horrid and I’ll never forget it. I had to creatively hide my bandages in all of the program photos which were taken the next day because everyone knows they didn’t have elastoplast in 19th century France.”
9. Not even Gingerale can save you
I live in Miami, and was planning to go to the beach today, but instead I’m spending my afternoon sitting on a cold can of ginger ale.
I needed to clean up my bikini line, but I forgot to pick up a critical pack of disposable razors. ‘It’s okay,’ I think. ‘My old roommate left behind Nair.’
I slathered myself (carefully) in this ‘cherry blossom scented’ calcium hydroxide solution. You’re supposed to let it sit for about 5-7 minutes, and I could feel the cream getting warmer as it went about its merry hair-dissolving business. It stung a bit, but I could handle it. Until I realized I needed to pee. So make my way to the toilet, and I start to pee, when a searing pain explodes in my crotch. PSYCH — the pee spread chemicals way down into my nether regions, and I was in agony.
I’m yelling, I’m peeing on the floor as I run to the shower, I jump in the shower and start rinsing with water like my life depended on it. At this point, I was in so much pain, my life did depend on it. Eventually something clicks, and I remember that leave-in hair products tend to be acidic. I grab my hair gel (contains phosphoric acid) and neutralize the Nair as best I can. After a bit, sweet relief (sorta) washes over me. I rinsed, got out of the shower, and assessed the damage. Not good. Everything was swollen, deep red, and still felt like it was burning, but not as intensely.
I’ve been sitting on a can of ginger ale for half an hour, and it’s no longer cold enough to make the burning go away. Time to switch it out for a Fanta.
10. The product reviews don’t lie!
(This isn’t so much a story as a man’s experience using depilatory cream!)
“I like the clean shaven look down in my gentleman’s log cabin, so for the past few years I’ve used a shaver. However the hair keeps growing back… so I decided to get to the root of the problem and purchased this product.
“Probably the first thing you will notice after using this product is the pain. Although as a man I lack the required experience, I’m going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth.
“Imagine sticking a rusty razor blade into your favourite eye, before tying your hands behind your back. Then imagine that you use the entrenched razor blade to slice open a raw onion. All the while being butt naked.
But still worth a three star rating.
If you’re still looking for some horror stories, check out the comments and other thread attached to the sources! We had a howl or two checking our some of these poor people’s experiences!
What’s your favourite hair removal horror story?